he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
