I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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