either way he was missing a nipple.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
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