i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
the liver wants what the liver wants
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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