i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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