Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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