OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize