The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
