I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Randomize
