Plan B is the new Plan A
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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