Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
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