When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
