from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
