I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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