Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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