i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
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