There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
Drunk is not a location!
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
