The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
