Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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