You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
