you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
