My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
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