that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
