Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize
