Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
