He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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