So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
Randomize
