4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
