is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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