I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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