i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
