i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
