Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
