i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Randomize
