He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Randomize
