You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
