i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
Randomize
