Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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