remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
