girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
