Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
