if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
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