Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Randomize
