the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
two words...techno handjob
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
