with your own penis?
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Randomize
