he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
