she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
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