is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
