Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Randomize
