I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
its not stalking. its research.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
