Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Randomize
